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There are two kinds of hostages: Those who are physically seized and deprived of the choice to move about freely and carry on with their lives, and those who are mentally held captive by the thoughts that deprive them of the ability to choose the best for themselves and to achieve their dreams and goals.

As a former police detective, hostage negotiator and international peacekeeper, J. Paul Nadeau spent more than 31 years working with victims and learning from top experts in abuse, hostage-taking and human behaviour.

And, as a survivor of physical and emotional abuse by an alcoholic father, he experienced first-hand the loss of hope and destructive internal dialogue that can immobilize as effectively as any prison. These inner “hostage-takers” rob us of our power to make positive changes, often leading us to simply give up and accept our fate.

In Take Control of Your Life, J. Paul Nadeau combines his personal experience, stories and insights to share practical tips that anyone can use to overcome the self-sabotaging thoughts and attitudes that prevent them from achieving their dreams.

Hostage to Myself can help you free yourself from whatever is holding you back and keeping YOU hostage.

Learn how to:

• identify the root cause of what’s holding you hostage
• gain the courage to take action and reclaim your personal power
• recognize and overcome “learned helplessness”
• take positive steps toward freeing yourself from your sabotaged state
• rid yourself of guilt, fear, self-pity and inaction


Take Control of Your Life

In Take Control of Your Life, Nadeau combines his personal experiences and insights from his many years in the field to help us overcome the self-sabotaging thoughts and attitudes that prevent us from becoming our best selves and achieving our dreams to the fullest.





Founder and CEO at Femme Fatale Media Group Inc.

“Have you been taken hostage – by yourself and your ceaseless negative self-chatter? If so, J. Paul Nadeau has a message for you: you, and only you, can rescue yourself from the iron chains of self-sabotage and a negative self-perception. To some, that might sound discouraging – even frightening. Yet, as Nadeau forcefully points out, it is a profoundly liberating realization. Hostage of the self is a choice; so is freedom of the self. What Nadeau does – and in riveting form, no less – is show you how to move from self-sabotaging behavior to an electrified life charged with hope, resilience, and personal power. If your life has been listlessly adrift on a turbulent sea of self-doubt and self-destruction, then Take Control of Your Life will be a lodestar guiding you to a fulfilling path of self-actualization.”


"Dammit, Just Ask!"

As a hostage negotiator and professional interrogator, J. Paul Nadeau has had his share of blockbuster adventures. He was trained by the best of them on how to negotiate in some of the most intense situations and with some of the toughest adversaries - and the cost of failure was too high to pay. His years as a detective, international peacekeeper and hostage negotiator taught him much about human behavior and how to positively influence the outcome of what first appeared to be impossible obstacles. Through it all, Paul developed a 4 step principle on how to win in life and business negotiations - a simple plan to help establish trust and rapport.

In his soon to be released book, "Dammit, Just Ask!" Paul shares his methods and principles on highly effective negotiating with you. His Negotiating by the PIER principles have been embraced by several global companies during his keynotes, and now he offers them to you in his new book. Whether you're looking to win in day-to-day life negotiations or million-dollar business deals, this book is for you.


"The Badass Guide to

In a fast paced, ever-changing world that involves personal and professional relationships - and its many dimensions - conflict between you and another may just arise. It’s life. Nobody enjoys conflict. We avoid it like the coronavirus, and consequently, when it does appear, it can cause stress, avoidance, fear and a number of other challenging emotions that pound at our emotional wellness.

But what if we could look at conflict as opportunity? Would that make a difference? The answer is yes. You can turn conflict into opportunity. What kind of opportunity? The kind that strengthens relationships and results in mutual respect and understanding.

Former hostage Negotiator and best-selling author J. Paul Nadeau shares simple and easy to use principles and techniques to help you turn conflict into opportunity. Drawing from his many years of experience, this book will help you plan and implement techniques that will build bridges and tear down walls. Conflict IS opportunity. Discover how you can make it so in this easy to follow guide.

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The "Take Control of Your Life" companion journal - 90 days to taking back control:

Based on his best-selling acclaimed book, "Take Control of Your Life," Paul has now created a simple daily journal to help you not only document your life but to help you take control of it even further. The companion journal is a 90 day and evening entry journal, complete with motivational quotes and tips on how to destress and get on with life. Journaling has been proven to help significantly with mental wellness and this journal will help you reach the outcomes you're after in life.


From the journal:


"True change doesn’t happen overnight; it’s achieved through perseverance and consistency. For many of us, imagining the ‘bigger picture’ can be overwhelming and may lead to unrealistic expectations too soon. This could result in giving up, and by giving up, you’ll never reach your destination.


Try focusing first on applying small changes - one day at a time. Within a very short period of time, ‘one day at a time’ will no longer be a challenge. Your subconscious mind will adapt to the new changes in you and your new habits will become your lifestyle.


There is what’s called the 21/90 rule. Commit to a personal or professional goal for 21 days and it will become a habit. Three weeks of consistency is all it takes. Keep that up for 90 days and it becomes a lifestyle. This is the recipe we’ll be following here. This journal will have 90 “Just for today” journal entries for you to make, and once you’ve reached day 90, you’ll have made journaling your amazing new lifestyle!"


* This life-changing journal is available for immediate and direct download. 

Not ready to commit for 90 days? Check out Paul's "It's my life!" 7-day journal and begin there!

Take Control of Your Life Companion Jour

Mastering the hostage within, e-publication:

In this publication, Paul leads the student through several on-line easy to understand and apply lessons, based on his best-selling book, "Take Control of Your Life." 


In this online course, discover:


➣    The difference between being taken hostage by force and taking your­self hostage—the key concepts in both types share some psycholog­ical similarities, and understanding them will help you find the key to freedom;

➣    The importance of regular “self-examinations” as a step to positive and lasting change from within—learning what your weaknesses and strengths are by being brutally honest during self-examinations can lead to self-directed action and self-improvement;

➣    Who your “hostage-takers” are and how they can manipulate and control your beliefs and actions;

➣    How these hostage-takers become your captors, and their effect on your internal monologues;

➣    The role your power and control over yourself plays in your life, and how to reclaim that power and control once it’s been hidden from you;

➣    The importance of finding the root cause of your captivity and using that knowledge to help free yourself from whatever is keeping you captive;

➣   The steps to take to free yourself from your captive and sabotaged state;

➣   Stockholm Syndrome and how it can brainwash your thoughts and take you hostage;

➣    Learned helplessness and how to recognize if you’re in such a state and get the hell out; as the inimitable Winston Churchill so cleverly said, “If you find yourself going through hell, keep going”;

➣   How to make the right choices and decisions (based upon what you want and not what someone else wants or expects from you) via a process of thoughtful planning when faced with adversity, and how to summon the courage to make tough choices, take action and readjust if things don’t work out the first time—just because you step off the path doesn’t mean you have to keep off it;

➣   The vital importance of taking positive action to reach your goals; simply thinking about doing something is not enough, but directed and positive action will help you reach your dreams;

➣    How some things in life are “empty and meaningless,” and how you should keep them that way until you can attach the right meaning to them; and

➣    The importance of gratitude and faith to living a happier life.

➣    The importance of regular journaling. 

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Coming Soon!
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